This thing is still here?

I had the bright idea to read through a dump of my old journal.  ..  Probably a really bad idea.  I wasn't in the best mindset anyway.   A pilgrimage to the past wasn't smart.

Ah well, whatever.

Maybe I'll start writing in here again.  Who the fuck cares? 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Metamorphosis_of_Prime_Intellect

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Question

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unaccompanied_Sonata

Can someone please draw me a picture of a thuggish raptor?

<3 to the first.

Be still my heart
Engine turning over won't you start?
This one's come to tear me all apart
Be still my heart

Just read those eyes
Trembling lips and carburetor sighs
Even though i know they're telling lies
Be still my heart

Oh, were it to stop
My tick tock, tick tock clock
Oh, were it to stop
Beat beat beat
Beat beat beat
Sleep sleep sleep
Sleep

Oh how i've grown soft
Running through so soft
I'll just dry right off
Cut me, smash me
Strain me, eat me
Apple, apple sauce

Oh what does it mean
Up on the marquee
Bright lights telling me
Don't forget
Don't forget
Don't forget
Don't forget:

Be still my heart
Engine turning over won't you start
This one's come to tear me all apart
Be still my heart

Just read those eyes
Trembling lips and carburetor thighs
Even though i know they're telling lies
Be still my heart
Be still my heart
Be still my heart

i miss you nic

a little bit'a self loathing

but that's cause other people aren't comfortable with me
i havet'a be something else, cause if im not
other people start to squirm and crawl

they're weak, so i have to change?

Wtf

Current Mood: cold

i get emotional real easy
the moon was pretty tonight
i don't like it when people want me to stay where im running from


i got nothing tonight folks, the cig is burnt out and it's the last one.

No wonder I prefer solitude to meeting new people.

People are egotistical pricks.  People take everything personally.  Each comment is an allusion, a pick-up, a come-on, an insult, a jibe; each movement an attack, a defense.

I much prefer the people I already know.  I much prefer people that just don't GIVE a rat's ass.

I prefer the gutters, the parks.  I live for the rain unobscured by ceilings and tarp-tents.

I wish I could go back to before the parsimmon famine.

mwr.

Current Mood: aggravated

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6461954578969471871&hl=en

Note to self; check out Dar Williams and Patty Griffin.  Possible good folk music?

Right?  Right.

My kind of loyalty was loyalty to one's country, not to its institutions or its officeholders. The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing; it is the thing to watch over, and care for, and be loyal to institutions are extraneous, they are its mere clothing, and clothing can wear out, become ragged, cease to be comfortable, cease to protect the body from winter, disease, and death.

- Mark Twain

(I love this guy's brain.)

Sorry about the flake out last night, when you all jetted out to Friendly's.  After I got home, I jes' sorta tooled around town for a bit, sorting through stuff in my head.

Things am good though.

Don't fret.  Look forward, be happy.  We're attractive, smart, gainfully employed, clever young folk-- so's we can do eeeeeeeenything.


Rest'a the week, working until 8-9, 10 on Friday and Saturday;  I assume I'm off Monday.   Let's make some plans. :]

i'm really gonan try not to overdo it, but. . . cats fucking rule

so watch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4RWBtDvll4&search=cats

megosleepnow

this is what I could remember of a dream this morning after having to wake up at 4.30 to go to work by 5, 5.30

I absolutely had to get some'a this recorded.

I'll tighten it up later in another post.

Oh man.. have fun with this one...





creepy dream


last thing was wondering where the cat food that we'd baked into loafs was



started in a ravaged convenience store, I was Will Ferrel,

Chained?-- somehow constrained to staying near a particular store display-table..  all there was to eat was a multicoloured mash of catfood.

I put it on a black sheet and tried to ge some of the water out of it as my two friends (one guy and one female)\



the spider

when it came up through the bathroom drain, it broke into thirteen little ones..

and one larger one with about three or four bubbles on it//  it was vaguley grape coloured, but a little lighter.. more of a light, light wine colour


they came up the drain after young boy ( i seem to remember him being important or special in some way.. some mystical power or something?)  the girl was at the tub near the back of the room.

this happened after the other guy died...

This was because after someone walked through the side door into the other room..  sorta gardeny and such..  They look behind them and see a white cat.

Look to the side and see another white cat..

Look back to find the first, and it's gone  (now the door seems to have turned into a tiny square)

Uh oh..  the person goes.. and realizes something is wrong already.(assume cat killed person)

the next thing I remember was viewing a tub from above,

it's slightly stained with blood in that curious, water-swirly way..  and the bath tub was slightly ingrained along the bottom, and at the bottom of the drain with a grid of lines that had mostly weathered off, which carried some of the water/blood.

After that one guy died, this was the next scene, as he was washed/flushed down the toilet?  suddenly, we've become tiny looking doll thingies, looking very vaguely similar (lol.. seriously I typed that and was okay with it) to Bethany's Gaming Chat plushies.

then other remaining guy slipped down into the drain..  with the waterline juuuust underneath his mouth and kinda layed there.. obviously effected by the death of his pal that he had just been happily and igna-blissfully eating wet, multi-coloured uncooked cat food on a black sheet of construction paper.


then.. like.. the act changed.. the scene changed..  there was some obvious.. almost video-game like change.. when the screen came back..  everything was just as it was before for a few moments to adjust the viewer/player..

and then a spider mob was crawling up through the drain and out into the tub..  their bodies were very large/swollen and coloured like wine..  and when they came up, there were thirteen of the single bodied ones and like.. one that was three or four large.

we killed them pretty quick without much trouble.


The reason I opened the door to the cat room was because there was an odd bird flying around and someone told me to catch it..  I was on it!..  I picked it up gently in both hands, but somehow it flew out and..  scurried?  under the door to the cat room.


That's all I've got now.

I dunno if theres more..  little details..  like..

I looked into a side case of the register island of this 7-11 type store, and wondered, since they have magic cards.. if I'd be able to order in special stuff

Rach, that tattoo I was telling you about earlier..

And here's a damn cool one, too

And another picture.  Yes..  Yes..  I think I will do this once a night..  Mebbe.  Iunno.

At least post something, even if it's just a word, once a night.

But here goes.

I like the softness in this one.  The outfit and pose make you feel like she's soft and kin'a vulnerablelike?. . But that facial structure and the expression start t'make you think otherwise..

And I love the hairstyle. :>

I think I should get bonus points as a Good Guy(tm) since I think this is such a sexy picture, and it's got no nudity in it.   Definitely.

Leavin' stuff to the imagination is so much better.  Nudity's for nudists and the bedroom.  And the art-room.

Word for the day : boogitablaahgita

First of..  Mabye?  many..

I'm getting into the mood lately to analyse what turns me on..  What jump starts my head into thinking about sex..  why my buttons are what they are.

Here's the first.

The hair, the face.. the whole outfit..

The non-chalant, almost bored and disaffected stance she takes..

The black glossy hair contrasts and frames the pale skin of her face so beautifully.

The smoking bit doesn't do so much for me..  Though I know plenty of people that've got a smoking fetish.. (man, can you imagien a smoking fetish?!  It'd be so easy to get yer kicks!)

But the exhalation of smoke is oddly sexy. .  but obviously NOT what I'm fixated on.

I could go on forever and ever and ever..  So many little details i could expound upon..

but I'll stow it for now.

 Whattaya YOU think? 


I'll be posting more later.

Current Mood: hot

Unhinged,
by Noreen Kershaw


Snell watches Eric come through his office door week in, week out, for treatment and begins to question if his patient really wants to be cured or is happy to remain unhinged...

Current Mood: amused

Drinking alcohol through a straw makes you drunk quicker - true, alcohol has a lower boiling point than water. In a vacuum even water "boils" at room temperature. By using a straw you create a vacuum in the mouth - the alcohol boils and vaporises within the vacuum and is thus quickly and easily absorbed through the well blood supplied membranes of the mouth and hence straight to the brain.

Current Mood: curious

    I had a good time tonight.

    The ending sucked--  forcing me to go see another movie..  GAWD.  The nerve.  Gimme some closure!  Gimme some loose-ends-tied-up-nice.

    At least gimme some more of Knightley dressed up in pirate garb. (IMHO, she looked wicked hotter in that outfit when I thought her hair was scrubbed short.)

    Knightley with a pixie-cut?    ooowwwaa.....    It worked for. . . .whatserface. ..  Winona Ryder?  I can't remember.  That chick in V for Vendetta.

    !
    Reminder..  Was that Liam Neelson in the new Pirates movie?  You thought Father Turner was Liam..  I'll go check.

    Nope..  It was Stellan Skarsgård that played Father Turner / Bootstrap Bill.

    Compare him with Liam Neelson.  Similar facial structure in some bits..  but not the same guy, noooo.  It kinda looked like him to me, too.

    Yeah..  that's all f'right now.

    I can't respect someone who whines. (constantly)

    I can't respect someone who hasn't gone through a good deal of pain in their lives and come out of it stronger.

    I can't respect someone that is constantly needy, irresponsible, annoyingly-childish, cloying, and clawing.

    And I can't have any type of physical relationship with someone I don't respect.  It just can't happen.  The thought of it physically repulses me.

    I -can- however, be friends with people possessing these traits.  Friendship need not be physical.

    (I still get into a little bit of trouble; I like to try to train people out of having those traits...)


Just some thoughts.

Current Mood: annoyed

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/5179100.stm

The UK is urging magazine distributors not to import an Italian magazine that has published a picture of Princess Diana being given oxygen in the wreckage of the Mercedes car in which she died.

Now I'm looking at this in a big picture, cold, heartless kind of way, I know.  Why is it okay to show death and bloodshed..  Show the picture of dead bodies during the Iraq war, show Zarqawi's dead body.. show Sadam Hussein's dead sons..?  But you included a picture of dead royalty, and you're villified.  

It's just a damned picture. Don't be neolithic.


Bah.. it's early and I'm not making any sense.

http://arcade.joystiq.com/2006/07/12/mind-controled-games-in-the-near-future/  - This rocks.   I'll leave off with that.

Current Mood: lazy

It's been a while.

I've made a couple of revelations lately..  Lemme see if I can remember any of them..

[ability to  subsume?  Look that word up now.-- Not the word I wanted..  What I want is -submerge-..]

The ability to submerge myself, my identity-- who I am..  I can do that.  It's something I learned very early on in life as a defense/offense mechanism.  I can literally change almost immediately various traits and characteristics, ideals, beliefs and morals to suit my situation.

I'm a scavenger.. A rascal, a hoodlum streetrat who makes a way for things.  I change, adapt.

(there was one, once, who fought this tooth and nail.  they seemed terrified of the notion: Letting yourself go?  Letting go of your identity.. who you are, and taking on another?  It seemed tantamount to death to this one.)


one reasons we couldn't stay friends.  revelation one.

revelation two was about role models that children have, who they're raised by, and how that effects their sexual persona and tastes.  That one.. I won't explain so much.  Just noting for my own benefit.

 ..

All I can remember now.

Anyhow.  So..  No, I'm not dead.  I'm just a busy boy.  Working a lot.

Living out in W. Yarmouth with a friend and her family. . So saving moeny is a bit easier.

First thing.. I've gotta find myself a moped.
(Save, you moron.  Save.)

Work. Is. Great.   I mean. . It's still work, but it's much less stressful.  Uhm -
..
     I won't bother talking about work here.
  Boring and needless.

happier.  stronger.  more me.  go me.
I'm loving my moments of quiet and peace.  I get to sit back and read, think, and be alone and thoughtful much more often than I've been able to lately..

. .   Or.. maybe, ironically, it's that I enjoy solitude more when there -are- people around that I can slip away from and go be by myself.. .  So that others can wonder where I am. .   Maybe it's  a whole To Be Needed kinda thing..    Hnnm..

Revelation number three maybe?

I just know I love being able to go outside and sit about, reading, catching up with the things other people have already done..

I've taken to riding and rollerblading around a lot, too..  and that makes me feel so good.  Instead of lazing about here in front of the computer, watching TV, movies, looking for erotic kinky BS, I'm out living, seeing, breathing and flying.

Uhnnm.. . blah.

I'm very excited lately..   I haven't looked forward to much in my life for a while--  I am now.  There's so much happening, and so much promise..  I can't help but look forward.

:D  *happy*

There.  there's my bloody update.

Current Mood: bouncy